The Hot Woman Rules

Something happened today that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck…  In addition to the hair standing up, I also nearly choked on the piece of steamed broccoli when I heard the news that Hope Hicks, a former model and an equally former White House Communications Director, was forced to testify before the House Judiciary Committee.  Let me rephrase that – they took this scalding hot, talented woman and tried to make her testify against President Trump behind closed doors for 7 hours straight!

During those 7 hours, Hicks said absolutely nothing and refused to even confirm where her desk was in the White House.  Obviously, she had no desk to begin with – why would she need a desk? – but that’s hardly the point.  The point is that these people on the so-called Committee should be ashamed of themselves for even bothering Hope and wasting her time, because this was absolutely against the Hot Woman Rules that the entire world knows and honors!  And in case you don’t remember these rules for some strange reason, let me refresh your memory.

Women that are on the hotness level of Hope Hicks, Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner are not subject to the same rules of conduct as the rest of us.  To put it simply, they can do whatever they want, and that’s perfectly ok!   They don’t need to be anywhere on time, they don’t need to pay for things like the rest of us do, and they have the right to punch any man in the face without any questions or consequences.  They don’t need to remember where their desk is, because they should not be required to even have a desk – they should not have to work at all!  

When these women smile, they stir up incredibly positive emotions and feelings of Hope (pun intended) in us that are above and beyond any value.  Just as Mona Lisa back in her times, these women give us a glimpse of heaven by simply being there for us to observe!  When Hope Hicks walks into the room, the entire Committee should stand up and salute her, announcing in one unified voice: “Thank you, Ms. Hicks, for being here and brightening up our day.  Please feel free to sit or stand, stay or leave anytime you want to – when it comes to you, rules don’t apply!”