It’s Never Easy

Believe me, even after all this time it’s still not easy, not ever!  But I guess that’s the whole point, isn’t it.

You hear stories of runners, and athletes in general, being able to run for hours without getting tired… I have now been a runner for over 5 years, and I can tell you that once I get going and reach a certain point of progress, I actually CAN go for a very long time without really tiring or losing breath.  It becomes somewhat of a routine, sort of like second nature.

That’s the easy part.  The hard part – well, that never changed, not since day one – getting started is SOOOO tough, each time out I have to break myself down and get through the initial horror of pushing my body into the difficult waters…. For some reason in my case this part has never changed, most likely because I am still a heavyweight and running will always be tough for a big guy like me, no matter what.

You start out feeling happy that you stepped outside and are actually doing it.  Then a few moments later, you realize that your lungs don’t really like what’s happening and may just explode, starting to feel like a tire right before a blowout!  That’s when I first question myself as to why I am doing this in the first place… I know why – it’s that flab around the middle that needed to go, and for the most part it did, but it constantly keeps trying to come back, so we need to fight.

About 5-10 minutes later, my insides feel as if they weigh 500 lbs and my breath is hotter than a grenade.  The thoughts of giving up are becoming stronger, but the legs keep on going… Am I really doing something here or is this all just the illusion of progress?  The air feels thin, as if climbing up into the stratosphere… Every thought becomes amazingly profound and that’s when I typically wish I could run and blog at the same time, because I know I will lose all these thoughts once my head clears… In fact, every regular thought becomes a powerful metaphor – I wish I could retain them all.  Everything is so real and clear.

That’s when I usually feel the sweat dividing my head into little segments and looking for a way down… What do they say – the sweat is nothing more than a way for your body to cool itself?  Oh, if they only knew!  You forget whether or not you have been breathing for last 15-20 minutes, but then again, does it really make a bit of difference?  Our bodies do what they need to do, we are just basically working on them, or should I say for them, trying to perfect this so-called work of creation.

Everything is accelerated by now, I am in orbit around my real body and I took off… The rest is just all auto-pilot, straight-forward and no thinking or effort involved.  So, can I go for 1 hour or even 2 or more?  Sure, can go even longer, but it’s just not fun anymore, no matter what entertainment you have pumping into your ear-drums.  And just then, when you realize the futility of it all, you know you are staring into the void…. and you have to laugh.  And I do, thankful for the fact that no one can really hear or see me this early in the morning… What an escape!

Until next time, please

KEEP IT RUNNING